Until Morning

It’s 2:00am, and I’m hunched over again working at my makeshift desk, an off-white adjustable table, lit only by the cold glow from my laptop screen, while my girlfriend is asleep just a few feet away. It was only my first engagement at one of the Big Four and I had already been assigned to work through nights reviewing loan applications from companies struggling with economic hardships imposed by the COVID-19 pandemic. Those nights were full of uncertainty, much like the ones lately. Today, many are divided and disagree over what should be done; however, I would like to reflect on my experience using music to navigate similarly tumultuous times.

In moments of conflict, I turn to music for clarity. “The Great Divide” by Luke Combs and Billy Strings offers a cautionary warning. The song, released February 2021, speaks to the growing division in convictions at a time of heightened tensions, calling for unity in the midst of a global pandemic. Though social distancing isn’t a topic of discussion mentioned in its lyrics, it feels impossible for me to listen to the song without thinking of the shared living experience the world went through when it was first released. The chorus repeats a forewarning message emblematic of those times as captured by the following lyrics:

We’re all so far, so far apart now
It’s as deep as it is wide
We’re about to fall apart now
If we can’t reach the other side
We gotta find a way across the great divide

For me, someone who had just graduated at the onset of the coronavirus outbreak, those words held the weight that was felt by seemingly everyone back then, as pre-existing tensions intensified during what was my introduction to corporate America. At the time, I lived in Rochester, New York with my girlfriend and worked remotely through many winter nights that blurred together. I didn’t know what was going to happen at work, much less what was happening in the world while I clung to whatever little sleep I could get, but I believed one morning we would reach the other side and there would be a cure.

Hope is sometimes very hard to hold onto and we all need someone to remind us that if we just keep on climbing, we’ll eventually reach the mountaintop. All those dark nights that I spent processing loans were split up by a midnight walk with my girlfriend who told me about how beautiful the world really was. While the news flooded our screens with stories of hate, these midnight moments of reflection on how our community was coming together to give back filled me with determination. Similarly, Luke Combs and Billy Strings remind us to look for the helpers in life through the lyrics below:

But I’ve seen strangers love each other
Like a mother does her son
What we see ain’t only all that’s goin’ on

Through these lines, Luke Combs and Billy Strings highlight kindness shared between strangers, reminding listeners that life is full of unseen acts of care beyond our immediate struggles. That message stayed with me. Even as I faced my own long nights of uncertainty, this song reminded me that the work I was doing was another form of care for small businesses that were struggling during unprecedented times. As the music played on and the clock struck 7:00am, I could begin to see the sunrise on the horizon. Those were the mornings that felt the best to sleep in, knowing, much like the sun, progress was on its way.